Rachel “Raquel” Lewis is opening up about the realization that her relationship with Tom Sandoval wasn’t the best.

Lewis, 29, read on the Rachel Goes Wicked podcast on Friday a journal entry of her stay at The Meadows, a mental health facility in Wickenburg, Arizona, where she sought voluntary treatment after their secret, months-long romance became public . 19 April.

after seeing that Harry Potter and the Chamber of SecretsThe podcast presenter revealed that she was inspired to write the notebook excerpts by Ginny Weasley (Bonnie Wright) “when Tom Riddle possessed her.”

Lewis wrote, “She made him do all this to please Tom, because of his character, because of his honesty. Am I playing the victim by saying this? Essentially Tom manipulated me and forced me into his relationship.” Trapped in the web of love.”

Former cast member of vanderpump rules Said Sandoval, 40, also made her feel that her mother was “gaslighting” and “manipulating” her and had turned her against her family.

He says, “My mother has some bad intentions. She tries to talk me into treatment. ‘They’re going to brainwash you. There’s no such thing as a love addiction,’” Lewis says. Read.”‘This place is a last ditch effort.’ Expanding is a bad idea. You are becoming dependent on this place. He calls me selfish for staying.”

Lewis continued: “I shared with her that I was having very bad thoughts, and I told her I was extending two more weeks. And she said that was a bad idea. And I said, ‘ If I come out, I will be scared of what might happen if these bad thoughts come to my mind. “It’s still a bad idea for me to figure this out alone,” he said.

After receiving treatment, the former reality TV star claimed to be able to see Sandoval “for who she really is.”