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Weddings are meant to celebrate love. They may also require invited guests to make financial commitments which brings them stress.
Whether paying for hotels and flights to attend a destination wedding or purchasing different outfits and gifts for multiple pre-wedding events, friends and extended family often feel pressured to spend large sums of money before a couple’s wedding.
A sense of obligation and budget constraints can lead to resentment, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings among friends and family. Future spouses who are trying to plan their dream wedding and are concerned about their own expenses will want to take into account the potential costs of their guests.
,Wealth It’s part of how we show up for each other,” says Christine Hargrove, a licensed therapist who serves as assistant director of the Love & Money Center. University of Georgia“But don’t let finances get in the way of lifelong friendships or healthy and supportive family relationships.”
Hargrove often sees budget issues become a friendship issue for couples and their wedding party members. While the purpose of asking someone to be a groomsman or bridesmaid is usually to show appreciation, sometimes the potential financial burden that comes with being part of a bachelor or bachelorette party, as well as the big day, is overlooked.
“If someone says ‘I care about you, I really want to come to your wedding but I can’t afford five days Caribbean “Besides already going to a wedding, don’t take it personally,” Hargrove advises.
Money conversations can be very emotional, but everyone involved will benefit if they approach the topic with understanding, Hargrove suggested.
“Couples need to keep in mind that people have different budgets, different backgrounds. People Those taking PTO have different work responsibilities and capabilities,” said Sarah Schreiber, a former magazine marriage editor turned marriage consultant.
Here are some recommendations for ways engaged couples can reduce costs for guests at their wedding and how guests can attend without going into debt.
Book various hotel options for couples
It is customary for couples getting married to reserve a block of rooms at a discounted rate for their out-of-town guests. Schreiber recommends having at least a few hotel options in different price ranges.
Offer to pay for some services
Covering the cost of transportation to the wedding venue, paying for child care if children aren’t invited to the festivities, and hosting a morning breakfast are other ways couples can make their wedding less expensive for guests, according to Cassie Horrell, a wedding planner. pittsburgh,
“There are little things you can do here and there to keep an eye on what price you can feed your guests,” Horrell said.
Putting a “no gifts” request on your invitations is another way to reduce costs for guests, said Rachel Lawrence, head of advice and planning at budgeting app Monarch.
Be ahead of your wedding party
Hargrove said informing wedding party members and other close friends in advance about how much they can afford to pay for a bachelorette party abroad or rent a tuxedo or get their makeup done helps them decide whether they can attend.
He said, if someone agrees to be part of a wedding party and later finds out that the bride and groom’s choices are expensive, they may get stuck spending on extravagances they cannot afford.
Don’t take it personally if a guest can’t attend
If a friend or relative says they can’t attend a pre-nuptial event or wedding because of the cost, respond in a kind and gracious way, Hargrove advises.
He said, “Accept it graciously and you’ll have a lot less relationship problems. It shows a lot of respect, it shows conscientiousness. People appreciate that. And there are a lot less hurt feelings.”
Share the cost with friends for guests
If the cost of attending a wedding is too high, consider splitting it with a group of friends, said Esther Lee, deputy editor and wedding expert at The Knot. From sharing a hotel room or sleeping on someone’s couch to going on group trips and splitting the bill for airport transportation, other guests may also be on the budget.
It’s okay to miss some events
Between the bachelorette party, bridal shower, and weekend destination wedding, costs can add up. If you want to stay on budget, it’s okay to skip some events and attend the events you feel will be most meaningful to the person getting married.
“It’s hard for people to say no, and we want to show that to everyone. But if it doesn’t work with your budget, you don’t want to go into debt to try it,” said Chelsea Hoddle, a financial planner for the financial services app Domain Money.
It is recommended that you let your friend or family member know ahead of time which events you will be able to attend.
save money on your wardrobe
If you’re working on a limited budget, there is a place to cut down on wedding dresses. Renting a dress or tux from online websites like Rent the Runway, Newly or Black Tux can be less expensive than buying clothes you’ll rarely wear.
The Knott’s Lee said guests can also consider wearing a costume they already own or can borrow from a friend.
“No one is judging you for re-wearing something, so don’t be your harshest critic,” she said.
Be transparent with your friends
You don’t need to feel embarrassed if you can’t afford to attend a loved one’s wedding, Hargrove said. Being honest about the reason why you won’t be there on their special day can help prevent negative feelings or misunderstandings.
“When you’re willing to be direct with someone, it clears the air and it’s amazing how powerful, clear, honest and direct self-disclosure can be,” Hargrove said.
If you won’t be attending a friend’s wedding, try showing your affection for them in some other way, such as inviting them to dinner, or sending them flowers on the wedding day. An inexpensive gesture can demonstrate your love without sacrificing yourself or your finances.
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