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Narcissists Can’t Handle Being Left Out, Study Finds

Arun Jain, 21/02/2025

Contrary to the stereotype that narcissists are too self-absorbed to care about others’ opinions, a new study published Thursday in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reveals a different story. The research shows that individuals with narcissistic personality traits not only feel ostracised more frequently than their less self-focused peers but also suffer from increased “social pain” as a result.

The research involved 77,000 participants across multiple studies who were subjected to controlled experiments and real-world scenarios to identify why narcissists experience higher levels of exclusion.

“Many people think of narcissism in terms of entitlement and arrogance, but our research highlights that narcissists also frequently experience social pain,” Christiane Büttner, of the University of Basel in Switzerland and the lead author of the study told The Washington Post.

Narcissists reported higher levels of anger, shame, and distress when excluded compared to their less narcissistic peers. Those with ” grandiose narcissism,” marked by arrogance and a need for admiration, showed the strongest negative reactions.

“One of the biggest questions going into this research was whether narcissists might actually report less ostracism because their grandiose self-image could shield them from perceiving negative treatment, or whether they would report more ostracism due to heightened sensitivity to social cues,” Ms Büttner told The Washington Post in an email.

“Our findings strongly supported the latter: narcissists, particularly those high in the antagonistic, rivalry facet of narcissism, report being ostracized more frequently.”

Most individuals do not ostracise others maliciously or recklessly. It is a strategic tool to serve group goals, such as to protect the group from individuals who do not contribute to or even harm the group. As such, narcissists may be factually ostracised more frequently, because they cause disruption in groups or violate social norms.

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The endless cycle

The study highlighted that being excluded contributed to the cycle that fuelled the development of “narcissistic traits”.

“This means that narcissists who are excluded may become even more narcissistic in response, potentially increasing their likelihood of future exclusion,” said Ms Büttner.

The research added that over time, changes in ostracism prompt changes in narcissism, and changes in narcissism prompt changes in ostracism, in line with a “reverse causality mechanism of negative social experiences and personality changes”.

Despite the remarkable study findings, researchers said its main limitation was that it relied on self-reported experiences of ostracism. Though experiments help bridge the gap, more observational research was needed to develop a further understanding of the matter.



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