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You call your teen’s name, but they don’t respond. They are staring at you. You call again, louder this time. Nothing – how rude.
But what if they’re zoning out?
For some teens, it may be a sign of dissociation, a temporary separation from thoughts, feelings, body, or surroundings. It’s the brain’s way of protecting itself from overwhelm Tension Or emotion.
Dissociation is often associated with trauma – Experiences that feel extremely painful or life threatening.
But because separation is silent and invisible, it often goes unnoticed. An isolated or “spacey” teen receives less attention than one who is anxious or acting out. Misunderstanding this reaction can lead to frustration and strained relationships.
In two recent studies, we interviewed isolated adolescents, as well as their parents and physicians. We wanted to better understand what it feels like when this happens – and what would help.
What is separation?
Dissociation is the brain’s safety switch. When emotions or memories feel too intense, the brain creates distance, such as mentally walking out of the room.
It’s common to experience mild forms of dissociation, such as zoning out during a boring meeting. But for teens who have experienced trauma, it can be more intense and more disruptive.
Many people underestimate how common trauma is for young people.
Worldwide, nearly three out of four adolescents have experienced at least one traumatic event, such as violence, serious accidents, or the death of a loved one. In Western countries, it may be closer to one of the two.
Disturbing content is also streamed directly to teens’ devices. violent video, cyber-bullying Or hate-based online abuse can all trigger overwhelmed emotions.
When emotions become so overwhelming that they become difficult to handle, dissociation provides immediate relief. But excessive use of dissociation to cope can disrupt learning, relationships and daily life.
Surveys show that this clinical form of dissociation affects 7–11% of high school students, making it common. Worry Disorder.
Yet alienation among young people is still not well understood, even by professionals.
what we wanted to know
To better understand dissociation, our research team talked to teens who have dissociated about what the experience feels like, what causes it, and what helps.
Seven adolescents who had experienced significant trauma and were receiving care in a Western Australian mental health service shared their experiences. Given that separation can affect memory and awareness, we also interviewed each adolescent’s parents and primary physician.
While our study involved a small number of adolescents, their reflections gave us powerful insight into the lived experience of isolation in adolescence.
what teenagers tell us
Adolescents described dissociation as feeling disconnected from their body or as if reality had become blurred.
Lisa* (age 17) said: “I could look in the mirror and not feel like it was me […] I knew it was me, but I didn’t feel like it was me.”
Verity* (age 14) explained: “I zone out and don’t pay attention to what’s going on around me. […] People could be calling my name or waving at my face, and I wouldn’t even notice it.
Parents told us that their teens can sometimes be completely unresponsive – unable to move or talk – or have emotional outbursts that they can’t remember until later.
Dissociation is most likely to occur when adolescents feel strong emotions arising from memories of trauma, conflict, or peer rejection.
what helps
Many teens said the most helpful thing was knowing that someone they trusted was nearby. They often didn’t want advice or questions – just reassurance that someone would be close to them.
Lisa said: “I like to have company because I can’t cope alone […] It helps to have someone to wait with me until it’s over.”
Sometimes, they wanted more active help with strategies.
Amy* (age 16) said that calming techniques can help: “If someone else is there and they’re telling me what to do […] I really can’t do it on my own when I’m like this [dissociating],
Others said that going to quiet places helped them come back to the present.
But when they didn’t feel able to reach out for support, some teens turned to less useful strategies, such as disappearing into imaginary worlds for hours.
Our research shows that to make this less likely, it’s important for teens to know you’re there.
What can parents do
Bullying, rejection or failure can all feel devastating to the developing mind. Adolescents may also experience trauma that adults are unaware of.
If a teen seems distant or unresponsive, remain curious rather than frustrated. Ask yourself what might be happening beneath the surface.
About the authors
Bronwyn Milkins is a postdoctoral researcher in Youth Trauma and Dissociation at The Kids Research Institute Australia.
Helen Milroy is Professor and Director of the Center for Aboriginal Medical and Dental Health (CAMDH) at the University of Western Australia.
This article is republished from Conversation Under Creative Commons license. read the original article,
Be physically present and calm when separation occurs. Offer to help them with activities like going for a walk, breathing slowly, or doing some sensory task like drinking a warm drink.
If dissociation occurs frequently or severely, consider contacting a mental health professional or GP for support.
why it matters
Dissociation is not bad behavior – it is a response to coping with trauma and stress, and it can be a sign that a teen is overwhelmed. When adults recognize this, they may respond with empathy rather than frustration.
We would like to see trauma-informed approaches in homes and schools. This means building safety and trust with young people and supporting collaboration.
Providing choices (for example, taking a short break or choosing where they sit in class) can empower them to have some control over their environment. Quiet, sensory-friendly spaces can also help children feel safe and ready to learn.
Recognizing the isolation and responding with patience and compassion can help your teen and strengthen your relationship in the process.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.
If this article has raised concerns for you, or if you are worried about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Kids Helpline (aged 5-25 and parents) on 1800 55 1800.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or struggling to cope, you can speak to Samaritans in confidence on 116 123 (UK & ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit Samaria website to get details of your nearest branch.
If you live in the United States, and you or someone you know needs mental health support right now, call or text 988, or go to 988lifeline.org To access online chat from 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to anyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country then you can go www.befrienders.org To find a helpline near you.