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The annual unveiling of the UK’s top Christmas Cracker Jokes introduces a new batch of topical humor targeting jokes Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, OasisAnd sabrina carpenter One of the best this year.
The winning joke, a sharp quip about the Duke of York, leads a list compiled from a nationwide competition.
For 13 years, the TV channel You and Gold has invited viewers to submit their most inventive jokes. Following shortlisting by a panel of experts, a public vote involving 2,000 British adults determined the final ranking.
Ben Smith, from Chelmsford, Essex, wrote the top joke and received the prize package, which included £1,500 for the holidays, a festive basket and special Yew and Gold Christmas crackers.
Gerald Casey, director of programmes, comedy and entertainment at UKTV, praised the entries, saying: “Congratulations to our 2025 winners. Another fantastic year of hilarious entries, showing that the British public are as funny as ever when it comes to the news.
“We look forward to spreading even more Christmas cheer with our festive You and Gold Christmas programming, including much-loved classic episodes. vicar of dibley, The Fast Show And only Fools and Horses,
The top six jokes of the competition will be featured on crackers given to the winners.
Here are You and Gold’s top 10 Christmas Cracker jokes:
1. “Why isn’t (former) Prince Andrew writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got a title.”
2. “Why don’t Noel and Liam (Gallagher) want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.”
3. “Which pop star makes her own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.”
4. “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.”
5. “What’s a French thief’s favorite Christmas movie? The Louvre, actually.”
6. “Could Lily Allen and David Harbor get back together for Christmas? Stranger things have happened.”
7. “Why won’t Angela Rayner get any Christmas presents this year? Santa can’t decide which address to deliver the gifts to.”
8. “What’s Claudia Winkleman’s favorite part of Christmas dinner? Taters.”
9. “Does Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, she beats them all.”
10. “Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His home in Clacton.”