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TeaIg Notaro was 41 when she received a life-changing diagnosis in 2012: stage 2 cancer in both breasts. But because it came after a series of devastating events — a series of unrelated health problems, her mother’s unexpected death, and a breakup — it didn’t deliver the immediate emotional blow one might expect. “It was a bit…,” she says, pausing for the right word, “I was confused when I was told I had aggressive cancer. I didn’t even know how to explain it for a while. But yes, it was scary.” Within weeks of her diagnosis, she had to undergo a double mastectomy. Now 52, she has been officially in remission since September 2017.
I’m talking to Notaro, the Emmy-nominated comedian and actor who is famous for his sharp wit and fierce performances on the show. The Morning Show And sex life of college girlsBecause she’s made a heartbreaking documentary about cancer – but not her own. come see me in good lightwhich has just arrived on Apple TV, details the final year of her longtime friend Andrea Gibson, the non-binary poet laureate of Colorado, who died of ovarian cancer in July. He was 49 years old.
Directed by Ryan White (Pamela: a love story), the film moves beyond sentimentality to become a quiet celebration of happiness – a reminder, in Gibson’s own words, that happiness “becomes easy to find once we realize we don’t have it forever.”
Originally from Maine, Gibson, who uses they/they pronouns, moved to Colorado in 1999. There, he discovered slam poetry after attending his first open mic night in Denver. Inspired by the powerful storytelling of the spoken word, he eventually risked his livelihood as a school teacher to become a full-time poet. “And that’s how I met Meg,” he says in the film. Gibson was first introduced to his wife, fellow slam poet Megan Foley, at an event where they were both performing. “As soon as I heard him speak, I thought, ‘He’s incredible,'” explains Gibson. After seven years of dating, they got engaged in August 2022 and married in December.
Between scenes of hospital visits and chemotherapy appointments, the film shows tender moments between Gibson and Foley. In one, the couple lies on the floor of their home, drenched in sunlight and caressing their three small dogs. With his head resting on the dog bed, Gibson explains that after each round of chemo, he develops an attitude from the steroids. “When I have a ‘furious tantrum,’ I’ll be like, ‘Meg, can you, at the very leastGet me a smoothie?’ And he must have done 7,000 things that day,” he laughs, as Foley admits, “It’s a phrase where I think I’m going to lose my mind.”
Notaro knew Gibson for 25 years, having first met backstage at one of the early performances of Vox Feminista, a political and social activist group based in Boulder, where Notaro was living at the time. Even after Notaro moved to Los Angeles, the two remained in touch as his career took off.
“Andrea was one of the funniest people I knew,” Notaro says of her late friend. She remembers crawling into bed with Gibson, who was extremely weak at the time. But before she can sit down next to him, Gibson points out a mysterious stain on the bed. “I don’t know what caused this stain, but we’ll just blame it on Meg, okay?” He said. This joke blindsided Notaro, causing her to burst into laughter. “It came to me because my head was in a completely different place,” she says. “I love that moment.”
Gibson was known for his commanding presence on stage. Her voice, formidable yet warm, delivers poignant poems that often explore gender norms, politics, LGBT+ issues, life and mortality. Sometimes accompanied by a pianist, as in a presentation for the NPR Tiny Desk Contest in 2023, he spoke with a rhythm that blurred the line between song and prose.
“I would turn things I was struggling with into poetry,” Gibson says in the film. “Say, my penis. When I first started writing about it, I felt so anxious to get on stage. But as soon as I said the poem for the first time, it felt like the shyness went off me. Spoken word poetry – it saved me.”
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Fast forward to the end of 2023, two years after Gibson’s diagnosis of stage 4 ovarian cancer. Notaro was on the call with their mutual friend, Steph Willen, who also worked as a producer on the documentary. “Obviously Andrea had a lot to go through, and in one of our conversations, Steph said, ‘I think Andrea’s life right now would make a really incredible documentary.’ And as soon as he said it, it hit me,” Notaro says. “I felt like it was the most obvious thing.”
The team worked on an accelerated timeline, trying to get ahead of Gibson’s terminal prognosis. “We made the movie in a year,” says Notaro.[We] It was originally thought that Andrea was likely to die on camera. And then Ryan said, ‘You know, we don’t have to have our hero die, we can end with a very beautiful story, and Andrea will be able to see the movie.'”
they succeeded. Shortly after its completion, it entered competition at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival in Gibson’s presence, and won the Audience Favorite award. The energy of the theater was strong and palpable, says Notaro. “You can feel the sold-out audience along for the ride through the funniest moments and the most devastating moments, and that puts Andrea at ease.”
“She was very proud of this movie, very proud,” says Notaro. “People walk out of the theater every time, just thanking us for making this movie. I think you can assume it’s a movie about dying, but I think it’s really about living, and that was Andrea’s message: ‘Don’t wait for that diagnosis to change things.'”
Speaking to me over Zoom from his home office in Los Angeles, Notaro spoke in a calm, measured monotone — each line punctuated by a light laugh and a wide, disarming smile. His boyish salt-and-pepper hair is lightly tousled, rectangular glasses sit on his nose, and a brown waffle tee is pulled casually over his frame.
Born after her mother and grandmother, Mathilde was raised in Mississippi and Texas. The younger of two siblings, she received the affectionate nickname “Tig” from her older brother Renaud when she was two years old. In 2015 he married his wife, The L Word: Generation Q Star Stephanie Allynne, 39. Coincidentally, they married months after the US Supreme Court issued its landmark decision. Obergefell v. HodgesWhich legalized gay marriage across the country. “We were just living our lives and planning to get married, whether it was legal or not,” says Notaro. “Crazy. It just happened to get in line.”
The pair are often collaborators. They met while working together on the 2013 indie comedy In one world… and became co-creator and co-star in Notaro’s semi-autobiographical series a mississippi (2016). couple, who welcomed twins Max and FinnIn 2016, he made his directorial debut as co-director of the 2022 romcom Via Surrogate. Am I okay?In which Dakota Johnson played the role of Lucy, a late lesbian woman. They also recently collaborated on Notaro’s latest comedy special, Hello again (2024).
“We’ve been together for 13 years,” Notaro proudly explains, adding that the key to their long and loving marriage has been “talking and laughing about everything.” In fact Tough together. They also take a morning walk together every day. “We drank our coffee, and just started our day together and ended it together,” she says.
She adds that Aline’s endless support helped her overcome the emotional burden of Gibson’s devastating health update. “I mean, Stephanie, my wife, is just there a million percent. Our sons, even though they’re only nine years old now, I think they really understand the seriousness of all this.”
Notaro recalls that last night, while tucking her sons into bed, she became aware of who and what she was grateful for in life. “Then one of my sons said, ‘And Meg,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, and Meg.’ And then another said, ‘And Andrea.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, and Andrea.'”
‘Come See Me in the Good Light’ is streaming on Apple TV+