Add thelocalreport.in As A Trusted Source
CI’m a complete fantasist, but if I take out a calculator and add up the true cost of motherhoodI never had ChildrenInstead, I was fighting my battles biological clock – Age 38 and desperate to become a mother with low ovarian reserve. Having had an indifferent attitude towards children up to this point, I sat in the Harley Street office of a fertility specialist in what I thought was my last chance salon. The cost of a child was the furthest thing from my mind. It was all about how I was going to have a baby – and I remember calling my partner from my car crying: “This is an emergency. We have to have a baby now.” It was primitive.
I needed IVF, which took up all my savings. It was fortunate that I had someone – and that meant I would have no buffer if I had a child. Did I care? No. Did I stay up all night thinking about the motherhood penalty? Rising housing costs? Unaffordable cost of child care? An imbalanced parental leave system? Critical maternity leave pay? My career is being put on hold? How much does the nursery school down the road cost? Collapsing NHS maternity units? Gender pay gap?
No, I had a baby one grown up that I bought at Gap and it had little bunnies on it; It was lovely and soft. I saw it and I just wanted to fill it with my baby. Then I didn’t care that it destroyed my bank balance – which it had. I was inspired by mom’s call, and right or wrong, I followed my heart, not my head – and in my view, I hit the jackpot. I now have Lola, nine, and Liberty, seven, and their father died midway through IVF, leaving me as a sole parent. i’m one of them The growing breed of single mothers.
This is just my story – and I’m in no way promoting motherhood for everyone, or dismissing the struggles that many parents face. But if all we hear about is the depressing and depressing cost of having children, is it any wonder that women are shying away from having children today? The birth rate in Britain has fallen to a record low of 1.44 per woman in 2024, well short of the 2.1 that would ensure a stable population.
To make matters worse, we’re faced with a shocking new price tag. The Office for National Statistics revealed earlier this month that women in the UK bleed almost £65,000 from their earnings in the five years after the birth of their first child. The first child causes harm. By the end of those five years, monthly income has dropped 42 percent. And if you want more children? Well, that’s financial suicide. A second child costs an additional £26,000; A third, about £32,000 more. The basic gist of it is this: the moment you have kids, your earnings will go down.
When I was told I had low ovarian reserve and was my last chance to have IVF, did I lie awake at night thinking about the maternity penalty, ineffective child care costs, and maternity pay?
Yes, how many times can we hear it: We are being paid a price for having children – and it is extremely unfair. Campaigners have warned that new ONS data proves that having children has become a luxury, like having central heating installed, costing a mother of three a total of £100,000 in lost wages.
This is further evidence that it’s now harder for people to have children – and it’s not going to help those worried. Of course, I’ve faced criticism: When I decided to push the boat out and take Liberty, a lot of eyebrows were raised. However, there was a method in my madness. I wanted Lola to have a sibling because if anything ever happened to me, they would have each other. The truth is that it’s OK to have kids now and worry about money later — and take what’s called a leap of faith.
Still, money is always a hindrance. Vala McClure, head of external affairs at single parent charity Gingerbread, said the ONS study was a prime example of how the world of work does not work for mothers – and particularly single mothers.
Of course, he is right; I’m not dismissing the difficulties: you can’t win. Moms are expected to act the way they are Not the parents, and the parents like them job no. A lot of reforms are needed. Parents need flexible and part-time working hours and better job security. According to research from Pregnant Than Screwed and Women in Data, 74,000 new or expectant mothers lose their jobs each year due to pregnancy and maternity discrimination.
Six weeks of statutory maternity leave at 90 per cent of pay, then £187.18 for 33 weeks, and paternity leave of just £187.18 for two weeks, is hardly reassuring to those struggling with the cost of living. What about the cost of child care? If you’re like me and you don’t have any close family to help, you’re looking at £15 to £18 per hour for a nanny, or £800 per week (minimum), although the good news is that working families can also now access 30 hours of free childcare per week during term time at a registered provider such as a nursery, playscheme or school for children aged nine months to four years.
But the problem is that motherhood is full of bad press. Unless you have cash to spend, it’s not a big deal. ParentKind’s national parenting survey, conducted by YouGov earlier this year, revealed that parents in families earning more than £100,000 are happier than those on lower incomes and find parenting easier. Although it is important that governments and prospective parents are aware of the growing financial burden, focusing solely on the numbers may be unhelpful.
We only hear warning shots that convey the message: Don’t bother having kids. This will devastate you and your bank balance. If you don’t want to have kids, the data doesn’t take into account the real cost of one’s happiness – and what happens if our fertile years are spent procrastinating over whether we can have kids and miss the boat?
The idea that having children is too expensive is the most common reason for not wanting to have children. According to YouGov data earlier this year, 28 percent of 18-40 year olds who don’t want to have children cite this as the main reason for remaining childless.
For others, the choice is more contradictory, but it is a choice that very few people make, only to end up regretting it. According to YouGov research, nine in ten parents or guardians (91 percent) say they have no regrets about having children, with only three percent saying they have a few regrets.
The truth is that they may be those with better financial stability – or those who, like me, have taken a huge gamble. I never looked back.
But if motherhood is about women losing hundreds and thousands of pounds, that doesn’t reduce a family to a spreadsheet. Motherhood is not just like a bill; It’s a pleasure. We all have to be responsible, but I think it gets lost in all the financial planning.