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When Millie Mackintosh found a lump in her breast, it was the beginning of a “stress-intimidating” journey that ended Support Desert.
After the lump was discovered, the former Made in Chelsea star had a biopsy which was inconclusive, followed by an MRI scan and had to nervously wait for the results.
“It was a really nervous and scary time to wait for the results for a few weeks,” says the mother of two.
“I swore to myself that if I got the all clear, I would help women who have cancer, and raise awareness to get themselves checked and not just think that breast cancer is something that happens to women in their 40s or 50s.
“You really need to become familiar with your body and breasts and get checked from a young age, so you know what your normal experience is like, and not be afraid to get that checked, because ignoring it and delaying it makes it more dangerous.”
Happily, McIntosh, now 36, made a full recovery after having an MRI 18 months ago, and being told the lump was a hormonal problem that fluctuated during her menstrual cycle.
Although she didn’t have cancer herself, this traumatic experience made her determined to fulfill her resolve to help those who had cancer, so she signed up for a more than 100km trek through the Sahara desert to raise money and awareness for a youth-focused breast cancer charity. CoppaFeel!
Mackintosh, who is married to fellow Made in Chelsea star Hugo Taylor, has returned to Britain after five days trekking through the scorching Moroccan Sahara with broadcaster Ashley James, a drag queen. biminiactress and singer Carrie Hope Fletcher and actress and writer Giovanna FletcherWith over 120 CoppaFeels! Supporters.
McIntosh, who was a trek team leader, admits, “I did some training, but nothing can really prepare you for trekking and camping in those conditions.”
“It was well out of my comfort zone, and I’m so glad I did it. It was life-changing – honestly, I think everyone should experience a challenge like this.”
Some days the team trekked for up to eight hours, and Mackintosh says: “It was really challenging – you could see the camp in the distance, and it felt like it wasn’t getting any closer. When walking on this huge plateau, the tents in the distance were like a mirage.
“And then we were trekking in the dark, which I wasn’t a huge fan of. But we all grouped together with torches over our heads, and we just held each other through it. Being part of a team, and coming together with other people to help each other, was one of my favorite parts.”
Although Mackintosh and many other trekkers had to deal with painful blisters on their feet during the trek, the hardest part of the experience for the mother was being separated from her two young daughters – five-year-old Sienna and four-year-old Aurelia – and not being able to contact them as there was no phone signal for most of the trek.
“I missed them so much,” she laments. “That was probably the hardest thing, not having a phone signal. It was nice to have a break to help my brain do a little digital detox and not be on the internet all the time, but not being able to send or receive a message at home, not knowing what the girls were like, that hit me really hard.”
Fortunately, the separation did not last long, and Hugo and the girls flew marrakech To meet Mackintosh at the end of the journey.
“They came to Marrakech because it was Aurelia’s fourth birthday,” says the proud mother. “So they came out for a long weekend and celebrated her birthday – it was really emotional.”
Now she’s back in cooler weather, McIntosh’s next milestone is the January publication of the paperback edition of her book, Bad Drunk. Written with GP Dr Ellie Cannon, the book combines practical, scientific advice with Mackintosh’s personal experience of giving up alcohol three and a half years ago, when she realized that drinking too much alcohol was impacting her health and well-being.
Of writing the book she says: “It was actually quite cathartic. I found it quite healing, because it was difficult to write some of the things that were quite dramatic for me, but I found that the process of doing it really forced me to deal with some things that I probably wouldn’t have dealt with.
“Emotions will come up, and it can be quite uncomfortable, but I worked a lot with a therapist to write the book, and I found it very freeing to put it all out there and just let go.”
She says staying sober is now a normal part of her life – although she has no illusions that staying away from alcohol will ever be easy.
“It was quite difficult at first, but now it’s become a normal part of my life – I don’t feel like drinking,” she says. “It’s been three and a half years now and it’s gotten easier, but I know there will still be times like Christmas that remind me what it’s like to drink.
“And honestly, it reminds me how grateful I am that I don’t have a hangover anymore – just the mess of it.
“I also know that the urge to drink can happen at any time. So I’m conscious of working on therapy and knowing that it can be something that I have to be careful not to do in the future.”
Therapy is helping McIntosh with her emotional regulation, and she explains: “When I was drinking, I was looking for ways to not feel my emotions. So what I’m working on now is being able to be present and really deal with all my good and bad emotions and react to them in a different way.”
Part of maintaining that emotional stability for McIntosh is exercising and finding ‘me-time’ when possible. She emphasizes that “I’ve never worked out in my life – I’ve avoided it,” but she discovered weight training and Pilates in her 20s and says: “I kind of became addicted. And I only started running in lockdown, but then I loved what it did for my brain.”
To carve out a little time for herself, McIntosh wakes up before dawn – around 5 a.m. – and she explains: “I’ve got work commitments and the kids don’t really have any free time, so I’ll sometimes get up very early in the morning before them, trying to get ahead of my day. I find it really helpful to get up at 5 a.m., an hour before the kids have to get up for work.
“But it’s still important to find time when you can get someone else to watch the kids and go and do your exercise or do the things you need to do to make yourself feel good, to uplift you. As a mom those moments feel really important.”