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Alice Lovatt was always in trouble for being late as a child.
She was often embarrassed by disappointing her friends by being late, and she often felt pressured to get to school on time.
“I don’t seem to have that ticking clock in my head,” said Lovatt, a musician and group home staff member. liverpool, England.
Until she was diagnosed with ADHD At 22, she learned she was experiencing a condition sometimes called “time blindness.”
Russell Barkley, a retired clinical neuropsychologist at the University of Massachusetts, is often credited with linking time disorders to people with ADHD or autism. In 1997, he called it “temporal myopia.”
But lately, time blindness has sparked a debate on social media: Where is the line between being a real condition and being a disorganized or rude person?
Being late means more
Time blindness is the inability to determine how long a task will take or how much time has passed since conceptualization. It’s related to executive functions in the brain’s frontal lobes, a well-documented characteristic of many people with ADHD, said Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist in Tampa Bay. Florida.
“Anyone can have problems with being late, and just having ADHD can cause dysfunction,” says Sarkis, author of “10 Simple Solutions for ADHD in Adults.” “It affects family life and social life. It affects work, money management and all areas of life.”
If a person’s chronic tardiness is “a star in a constellation of symptoms,” it could be evidence of a treatable disease, Sarkis said. She cites research showing that stimulant medications prescribed for other ADHD symptoms, such as inattention or restlessness, can also be effective in treating time blindness.
However, that’s not to say that everyone who is chronically late has ADHD—or has a built-in excuse.
Consider the reason for being late
Jeffrey Meltzer, a therapist in Bradenton, Florida, counsels people who never show up on time to examine the core issues behind their tardiness.
Some people who hate small talk are afraid of arriving early, which may be a sign that anxiety is the underlying problem, Melzer said. Others may feel like they don’t have much control over their lives, so they try to take a few minutes back from their responsibilities.
“It’s the same psychological concept behind vindictive bedtime procrastination,” he said, referring to the urge people may have to stay up late to regain some personal time after a busy day.
One tool in this situation, he says, is to create a small “coping card” for regular reference. Once you’ve identified the reasons for your chronic tardiness, take an index card and write down your rethinking of the reasons for being late and the consequences of being late.
For example, on one side write: “Attending this meeting does not mean I lose my freedom.” On the other side write: “Being late again will make people at work uncomfortable.”
The hardest reason to change this habit, Melzer says, is that early arrivals often blame it on late arrivals — a sense of entitlement. people People who feel that their time is more important than others may allow themselves to be late.
But Meltzer said these people also express entitlement in other areas, such as parking in designated handicap spots or tending to make grand entrances at events.
“Maybe they’re 20, 30 minutes late and it’s like, ‘Oh, look who’s here,'” he said. “So it’s a way to attract attention.”
what to do
Whether a person has ADHD or not, they are still responsible for their actions, Sarkis said. Sarkis was also diagnosed in adulthood and had trouble with time management.
The good news is that the same interventions that help people with ADHD also work for all latecomers.
Using a smartwatch to set alarms can help you know when you need to leave, Sarkis says, although keeping an analog clock with you can also help. Relying solely on your phone to check the time creates more distractions.
She also recommends breaking down tasks into lists of smaller parts and resisting the urge to cram too many activities into a day.
Lovatt learned to give herself more time than she thought she needed. She also uses the time management app Forest and another app to lock herself out of other apps on her phone to help keep track of time while she’s focused.
Particularly helpful are lists detailing how long things will take. When he left the house in the morning, Lovatt listed every step from bed to door, which felt like it took 20 minutes.
“Walk downstairs for a minute. Find shoes, one minute. I have a whole page long list, literally walking between rooms,” she said.
It took her 45 minutes to learn.
“It doesn’t work 100 percent of the time. But overall, I’m a lot more reliable now.”
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Albert Stumm writes about food, travel, and health. Find his work at https://www.albertstumm.com.