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Heartbreaking new figures from Age UK have revealed the worrying extent of loneliness and social isolation among the UK’s older generation this Christmas.
through this A crisis hidden in plain sight In the campaign, the charity reveals that one in two older people – 6.3 million individuals – no longer feel the same joy they used to during the festive season.
In addition, an estimated 1.5 million older people are expected to eat Christmas dinner alone, and an estimated 670,000 will not see or speak to anyone on Christmas Day.
The findings come from an online and telephone survey of 2,659 UK adults aged 65 and over, meant to represent the national population.
in the light of These related figuresWe spoke to Ruth Lowe, head of loneliness services age ukAbout why this time of year can be especially difficult for some older adults. She also outlines six subtle signs that may indicate someone is feeling lonely and gives some practical tips on how to support them.
Why is this time of year especially difficult for some older people?
,Loneliness And social isolation are big issues for older people all year round, but we know the winter and festive periods are particularly difficult,” says Lowe.”winter Difficult because it gets dark earlier and is so much colder, making it harder for older people to get out and move around. Many services also close during festive periods.
“Furthermore, Christmas is also a time when we are surrounded by images in the media of family and friends being happy together and for someone who doesn’t have that, this can increase the feeling of invisibility and being completely alone.”
Older generations also often struggle to ask for help.
“We often hear from many older people that they feel embarrassed or ashamed about their feelings of loneliness, and obviously they shouldn’t do that at all,” says Lowe.
“I think younger people often feel more comfortable talking about their mental health and how they’re feeling, and older people often feel like it’s something they don’t want to burden other people with.”
Here are six subtle signs of loneliness that loved ones can watch for…
1. Changes in behavior and mood
“One of the first things to look for is changes in behavior or mood,” Lowe highlights. “If you know the person well and you notice that they are becoming more emotional or angry or simply behaving differently, it may be a sign that they are experiencing loneliness.”
2. Negative self talk
“Talking negatively about themselves in a way that they’ve never done before can also indicate loneliness, because loneliness can really start to lower someone’s self-worth and make them feel quite worthless,” says Lowe.
3. Withdraw
“Withdrawing from things they once enjoyed and saying things like ‘People won’t want me there, I don’t want to go there’ “This may indicate that they are feeling lonely,” says Lowe.
4. Neglect of self
,People They feel quite depressed when they’re alone, so they may start to stop taking care of themselves or their homes,” says Lowe. “You may notice changes in their appearance or their surroundings.”
5. Substance abuse
“Some people who feel lonely may even begin to abuse drugs or alcohol,” says Lowe.
6. Long chat or phone call
“Simple things like trying to increase conversation or spending more time with you on the phone, or when you notice they don’t want to let you go, can indicate that they’re really craving that connection and trying to hold on to it,” says Lowe.
how to help
start a conversation about it
“If you notice a change and are concerned, just ask them how they’re feeling and let them know you’re always there to listen and talk,” advises Lowe. “You don’t have to ask them directly if they’re lonely, but letting someone know there’s someone out there who is able to listen can make a huge difference.”
Choose your settings wisely
“Try and have this conversation at a time and place where you know the person will feel comfortable,” recommends Lowe. “Try and do it when you have time to talk about it properly, if they want to open up to you right there.”
be patient
“Be prepared for the fact that they may not be ready to open up in the first conversation,” says Lowe. “Give them lots of time and patience.”
let them lead
“You could try saying something like, ‘Oh, I noticed you seem a little different lately, is there anything you’d like to talk about?” suggests Lowe. “Let them lead the conversation and let them talk about it at their own pace.”
be confident
“If you’re worried about a loved one, reassure them that you’re there for them and that there are many people who feel the same way,” says Lowe. “Help them understand that there is nothing to be ashamed of.
“Letting them know that you care, that their feelings are valid and that they are important to you can really make a huge difference to someone experiencing loneliness.”
Try to reduce your reaction
“If they open up, try not to wallow in pity or embarrassment because sometimes our reactions can cause someone else to close down,” says Lowe.
Signpost Support Services
“Age UK offers a wide range of local services such as festive lunches during the Christmas period,” says Lowe. “There are also national services such as the Silver Line helpline (0800 4 70 80 90), which is free to call 24 hours a day, seven days a week, including Christmas Day, for any older person who needs to talk.
“Also, you can tell your loved one that they can also talk to their carer, GP or another friend. It’s all about letting them know that there are people out there who care and want to help.”
To donate to Age UK’s A Crisis Hiding in Plain Sight campaign, please visit ageuk.org.uk/appeal.
Anyone who needs support, is concerned about an elderly relative or friend or wants to know more about Age UK’s befriending services can contact Age UK by calling Age UK. Advice Free, on 0800 169 6565 (8am to 7pm), or visit ageuk.org.uk.