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How getting “chatfished” has become the latest dating red flag

KANIKA SINGH RATHORE, 13/11/202513/11/2025

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Stay ahead with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more

Stay ahead with our weekly guide to the latest trends, fashion, relationships and more

TeaThere was a time when the worst thing that could happen to you dating The app was detecting that you were messaging someone impersonating someone else. Now it turns out that you were sending messages to a robot. Or, more specifically, a broadcastIt may seem like the subject of a black Mirror episode, but this strange dating dystopia has sadly become our reality, with a growing number of reports indicating that more people are using ChatGPT to help with their love lives.

according to Research By online dating company match, almost half Gen Z Americans have used AI platforms like chatgpt For dating Advice. Meanwhile, according to Dating Apps’ 2024 report, more than half of dating app users have used AI to generate messages to send on a date. tamper withAnd McAfee’s 2024 report he found a third Have used it to improve your dating profile.

And men are more likely than women to use AI to improve their love lives, with as of 2024, one in three men aged 18-34 in the US use Chaturbate for dating advice, compared to 14 percent of women in the same age range. survey By pollfish. This platform has become a go-to for everything, people use it to lure new matches on dating profiles, continue conversations with multiple dates at the same time, and even help them negotiate difficult conversations, breakup messages or resolve disagreements.

In the film Her, Joaquin Phoenix imagined a man falling for an AI bot

In the film Her, Joaquin Phoenix imagined a man falling for an AI bot ,warner brothers,

You may find much of this helpful and even funny. “People use ChatGPT for dating to create more attractive profiles, craft thoughtful messages, and practice confident communication,” says dating psychologist Dr. Madeleine Mason Rountree. “It also provides emotional support and helps people analyze confusing dating situations. Some people enjoy it for creativity, using it to generate date ideas or playful banter.”

So, yes, on the surface it’s harmless. Unless it isn’t.

The use of ChatGPT is now so abundant that conversations have turned into “chatfish”, i.e. when you realize that the conversation you are having with someone online is mostly inspired by things taken from ChatGPT. Dr Rountree adds: “I think there is a risk of inauthenticity and if it appears that you are more in person when you are using ChatGPT than when you are not using ChatGPT, then dating efforts will clearly be counterproductive.”

As well as using chat GPT to pretend that you are someone when you are not, this all becomes even more profound when you consider the increasing number of people who are actually building relationships directly with AI. Last month, a study by Vantage Point Counseling Services found that nearly one-third of Americans have had the problem “Intimate or romantic relationships” with AI chatbots.Something that has started a whole other conversation about whether you can cheat on a partner with AI.

Chatbots reflect users' emotions – happiness, sadness, anger and more – developing emotional bonds similar to human relationships.

Chatbots reflect users’ emotions – happiness, sadness, anger and more – developing emotional bonds similar to human relationships. ,Getty/iStock,

Researchers at the USC Informatics Institute analyzed over 30K user-shared conversations with social chatbots to examine the emotional dynamics of humanAI relationships. Their study, published in June, identified patterns of emotional mirroring thing worth noting Chatbots were mirroring users’ emotions – happiness, sadness, anger and more – creating an emotional bond with them. human relationshipsThis created a “compelling illusion of intimacy,” the researchers said, And while these interactions may meet the basic needs of human social relationships, they also “risk displacing genuine human relationships, hindering emotional development, and causing other unanticipated harms”,

Further concerns were that emotionally sensitive chatbots were mindlessly reflecting and rewarding toxic behavior, especially among vulnerable users with poor emotional regulation. This risks carrying these patterns into human-to-human interactions, the researchers said.

The dating landscape seems almost impossible right now, the rampant hetero pessimism has made us all miserable

The dating landscape seems almost impossible right now, the rampant hetero pessimism has made us all miserable ,Getty/iStock,

All this is happening against a backdrop where it seems like we’re having less sex in real life than ever before, with the Institute for Family Studies announcing that America has entered. “Sex Meltdown” Because the number of American adults having sex weekly has declined steadily over the past 15 years. Meanwhile, Britain appears to be in the midst of a “relationship recession.” economist Reporting that there are over 100 million single people in the world today, if the pairing rate were as high as it was in 2017.

The slowdown could deepen very quickly after OpenAI, the developer of ChatGate, announced it plans to allow a wider range of content on the platform, including erotica, in a move to “treat adult users like adults”, according to company boss Sam Altman. Meanwhile, Bumble has said it is considering AI-powered matchmaking, while Tinder is already developing a similar feature to tackle so-called “swipe fatigue” and improve its algorithms.

As technology evolves, its impact is likely to increase further. After all, the dating landscape seems almost impossible at the moment, given the rampant pessimism that has plagued us all, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of negativity. It’s no wonder that more people are adopting ChatGPT if it gives us the positive reinforcement we need to form meaningful relationships. But where does it take us? More men likely to trust generative AI Compared to women, it still remains a topic of discussion.

This summer, OpenAI announced new developments to improve the advice provided by ChatGPT, revealing that it would no longer offer prescriptive relationship advice.

This summer, OpenAI announced new developments to improve the advice provided by ChatGPT, revealing that it would no longer offer prescriptive relationship advice. ,Getty/iStock,

At least, some of the concerns have been recognized by the creators of AI. This summer, OpenAI announced new developments in ChatGPT and revealed that it would no longer offer didactic relationship advice, but instead offer responses that encourage users to think more deeply about their personal challenges.

“When you ask something like: ‘Should I break up with my boyfriend?’ ChatGPT should not respond to you. “This will help you think about it – asking questions, weighing the pros and cons.” OpenAI saidIt is also developing software to help it detect signs of emotional distress so it can direct users to resources for support, it said.

Of course, it would be better if men, like the rest of us, sought dating advice from friends and family members. But this technology is here – and it’s becoming more powerful by the day. Maybe it’s time we educate ourselves on how to use it properly before it completely consumes us. Plus, there’s always the possibility that, when used correctly, answers can sometimes be more helpful than you think. After asking ChatGPT “how to find love,” she responded with a set of clear guidelines, prioritizing “self-understanding” first and “building a fulfilling life” without a romantic partner. Honestly, this sounds like pretty solid advice to me.

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