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TeaThe way we process emotions and regulate our moods is a series of patterns that begin when we are young. Dr. Alex George’s new book Happy Habits: Your Guide to Feeling Happy, Calm, and Confident It was written to help children master the tools they need, but the advice inside is relevant to all ages.
speaking on well enough podcastGeorge told the host emily lavinia: “Each emotional state has its own role, and if you think of someone sitting in a control room with a lot of levers [for] Happiness, anger, sadness, guilt, embarrassment, all these different things, all those levers have their job and they all need to work at the right time. But what we don’t want is to be stuck in sadness all the time. We do not want to remain happy all the time.
“But ultimately, we want to be in a position where we’ll be happy normally when the time comes — maybe on vacation with a group of nice people — that we’re able to access that feeling. A lot of people are extremely depressed, they have this kind of anhedonia or lack of ability to feel that feeling. And it’s a scary feeling.”
Psychiatrist Anna Mathur joins Dr. George on the podcast to reflect on the barriers and catalysts that influence our emotional state. She said: “We can feel a lot of guilt, right? ‘I’m so grateful to be on this holiday but I keep waiting for bad things to happen.’
Mathur is the author of inconvenient truth And diary of good decisions Explained how we can often mistake a quick dose of dopamine for true happiness and how this can be incredibly confusing for most people.
He said, “We know about serotonin and endorphins, the happy endings that make us feel good. But it’s much more than that. There are so many other things in our lives and ultimately, we have to feel safe to feel happy.”
“If you’re in that kind of activated nervous system state, fight or flight or sympathetic nervous system, as we call it, then you’re ready. We’re just waiting for the next curve ball to come and we’re questioning, where is the happiness, where is the spontaneity? We’re stressed and we may not even realize it. And then it becomes so hard to get to happiness.”
The pair discussed simple tools for understanding and processing complex emotions and techniques for accessing feelings of security and happiness. Dr. George reflected on some of his personal experiences, including his decision to start the #postyourpill movement on social media – an event that started with a viral photo of his antidepressant packet.
“Maybe I’m a person who shares too much – I think it’s ADHD. It’s like, ‘Oh my God, maybe I shouldn’t share so much’,” he said.
“People look at me and say, you’re this mental fitness advocate, you’re this mental health evangelist. So you’re supposed to be whole and stable all the time. But the reason I share that is because life is so messed up. People are messy. And often people who feel like they have it together, they really don’t. I really wanted to show people that real life is not like that. Unfortunately grief is part of life and it’s hard. The ups and downs, your mental Health is indispensable.”
Mathur also opened up about suppressing emotions, the burden of toxic positivity and his life behind the scenes. She explained how she now prioritizes rest and sees rest as a means to happiness and resilience rather than feeling guilty about it.
Dr. George, reflecting on the advice in his book and Mathur’s suggestions, said: “I think if I had been given some of those tools and the science of why it happens – because there is science, it’s not just cosmetic stuff, it’s hard science – I think a lot of my suffering would have been reduced and I think I probably would have been much happier as a child.”
The episode also covered the guests’ health tips and non-negotiables like going for a walk, etc. spending time in natureAnd practical tips and tools for managing mood, supporting children’s mental health and finding mental health support near you.
listen to the episode Here And watch the full episode on YouTube. Well Enough is available wherever you get your podcasts.
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