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As shoppers flock to the country during the biggest shopping season of the year, retail workers are gearing up to take on what many describe as the most demanding — and often discouraging — job.
Podcast “Were You Raised by Wolves?” Nick Leighton, host of , asked, “It makes everything bigger?” which he co-hosts with comedian Leah Bonnema. Together, they analyze the subtleties of etiquette and social behavior.
,People They’re stressed, they’re busy, they’re upset,” he said. “When that happens, we forget that other people exist.”
Whether it’s gridlocked parking or neatly stocked shelves, the holiday retail environment can become a pressure cooker where etiquette quickly evaporates.
Retail sales last longer in November and December, prompting companies to hire large numbers of seasonal employees to manage the increase. These employees often bear the brunt of buyer disappointment. Some customers treat employees as extensions of the corporation rather than as people.
This year, staff may be even smaller to handle the rush of holiday shoppers. Companies say they may cut seasonal headcount due to economic uncertainty, while at the same time, buyers are expected to spend more than last year.
“Yelling at a worker isn’t doing anything,” Leighton said. “Everyone else is busy too… Your purchase is no more important than the next person’s.”
Here are some expert tips on how customers can be kinder, more polite, and more empathetic toward the people they help execute all those holiday lists.
Etiquette apply everywhere
Etiquette consultants say that people who behave politely generally do so everywhere, while people who behave rudely in stores often have similar problems in their personal lives.
Jody R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, said, “We don’t pay retail employees to be therapists, social workers or punching bags. It’s not fair, and it’s not fair.” MassachusettsLong before she advised companies on etiquette, Smith worked several holiday seasons at a Hallmark store,
Plan your shopping trip and take time
Smith advises shoppers to plan in advance – knowing who is on their list, which stores they need to visit and when they will go. “Set yourself up for success,” she said. “Bring water or snacks. Don’t go hungry.”
Time also matters. “Ask yourself, ‘When is the best time to go?'” she said. “Weekends are busier, lines are longer and parking is tight. If possible, go on a Wednesday morning when stores open.”
establish some rapport
Smith suggests making friendly eye contact with workers, greeting them, and using humor to diffuse tense moments. If someone on the line gets irritable, he said, a light joke about needing a nap can lighten the mood.
He said, “We don’t have control over the behavior of others, but we certainly have control over our own behavior.”
Elizabeth Medeiros, 59, who spent more than 35 years in retail in the New York and Boston area, said shoppers can help reduce frustration by asking questions — and recognizing that workers may not have all the answers.
Manage expectations
Customers often assume that employees can control everything from inventory and discounts to the speed of restocking and even the behavior of other shoppers, he said.
They can’t.
“Customers are especially concentrated during the holidays,” said Medeiros, a former district sales manager and longtime store manager. “They’re checking the lists and looking for deals, and anything that interferes with that they eliminate.”
He said furloughing employees is already difficult even under the best of circumstances. “Everyone is often stretched thin. Breaks are missed, shifts extend unexpectedly and the six-day work week becomes the norm.”
As Smith says: “clerks are not ceoDon’t expect someone making an hourly wage in December to change a store policy you don’t like,
Providing training to workers to reduce stress
Adam Lukowski, executive director of the National Retail Federation Foundation, emphasized that most customer interactions remain positive.
“You may see some incidents in the news, but the majority of experiences have been OK,” he said. “We work hard to provide a high-quality environment.”
Lukosky said the industry has invested in new training programs to prepare workers for stressful encounters.
The foundation’s RISE Up skills-training courses now reach more than 80,000 people annually. “It gives associates the tools to provide customer service and understand that an angry customer is usually angry at the problem, not at them,” he said.
Most of all, he said, shoppers must reframe the way they view the person behind the counter.
“Act as if the person helping you is your daughter or son, or your mother or father. Not just someone doing things for you.”