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Guardian must lead by example and overcome phones it Christmas When to spend time with families, England’s Children’s Commissioner has urged.
Dame Rachel de Souza issued a “heartfelt appeal” to reveal Young people have told her that their moms and dads scroll at mealtimes and text while hanging out with the family.
He advised families to enforce “phone-free time” and establish household rules that apply to everyone, warning that “no matter what you say, they will do what you do.”
Speaking about the controversial topic: “We have to lead as adults. We can’t talk about banning kids if we’re not doing it ourselves.”
Dame Rachel admitted she had previously been “guilty” of the issue, but added: “The thing about children is that they will copy you, not what you say.
“So absolutely, let’s turn off our phones this Christmas, let’s spend time together where both adults and children turn off their phones together.
“I can’t tell you how many kids tell me they’re sitting at dinner time and their parents are talking on the phone, or they’re hanging out on their mobile phone instead of talking.
“And the kids are crying out for engagement and the support of Mom and Dad. So this Christmas, let’s spare them, let’s have some fun together, and lead by example.”
Data published by communications regulator Ofcom earlier this month found that children aged eight to 14 are spending an average of almost three hours online every day and are also using their devices late at night.
teenagers Ofcom said 13 to 14-year-olds are using their smartphones, tablets or laptops for almost four hours a day, while eight and nine-year-olds spend two hours and 10 to 12-year-olds spend almost three hours online.
Adults in Britain, meanwhile, spend an average of four and a half hours a day online – an increase of 10 minutes on last year, with 18 to 24 year olds spending an average of six hours and 20 minutes a day, the regulator found.
Dame Rachel’s comments come as she launched a new guide giving parents tips and advice about online safety as well as screen time.
In it, they warned parents and guardians that their role in ensuring their children’s online safety “cannot be outsourced” to schools, politicians or tech companies, saying that their research had shown that most teens “may not always say it, but they want clear boundaries”.
The guide, titled “I Want My Parents to Know”, advises parents to be “kind” but “firm” with their children, involve them in rule-setting, and keep conversations open and speak often about online safety.
Comparing the approach to sex education, Dame Rachel said teenagers had told her they would not rather have “big conversations” about online safety, but rather in a “relaxed and natural” way from an early age.
She said that although children are aware of the bad and dangerous things they can see online, many still say they will not go to their parents about it because of embarrassment and shame, fear that their phone will be confiscated or because they view such content as “normative”.
She advised parents to talk to their children about both the good and the bad of online life, asking questions and using laughter to reduce tension and make conversations more casual so parents don’t seem too serious or intimidating.
Dame Rachel has previously called for an Australia-like ban on social media for under-16s, but said she was now prepared to give tech companies and the government a year to monitor how well the Online Protection Act is followed.
She said: “I will be watching really carefully, and at the end of the year, if things haven’t improved, I will be calling for a ban on social media for under-16s.”
Technology Secretary Liz Kendall said: “The Children’s Commissioner’s guide provides important information about the online world children are visiting and the conversations families are having.
“Open conversations between parents and children are important. But these conversations are more effective when supported by real protections and strong enforcement. We are committed to making the online world a safe place for children to learn, connect and grow.”