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Dear wicks,
I’m feeling extremely anxious and stressed about Christmas – and there’s still two weeks to go! The reason I’m worried is that I get to spend it with my family – my mom, dad, and sisters (as well as our partners and kids) – and we don’t get along. We never have.
One thing is that my family is completely different from me. Our political views are completely different – They call me “woke” And I find his constant “casual” casteism Offensive and outdated. They say these are just “jokes” and accuse me of being a “snowflake” and having no sense of humor, but I don’t find punching funny.
I’m dreading the kind of conversation that’s going to happen around the Christmas dinner table: about being their supporter.trump And pro-Israel and War in Gaza, not mentioned migrant crisisI’m pretty sure they support Reform UK And think that Nigel Farage is some great defender of the right.
This is more than disappointing – to be honest, I find it extremely disappointing. This makes me feel depressed that I can even relate to this For such narrow minded people. I’m not really looking forward to spending time with them. How can I get through this without throwing away my plate?
be afraid of it
Dear afraid of it,
I sympathize – there’s really nothing worse than doing this Endure prejudice disguised as a “joke”I hate it too, The thing about jokes – and you find this in a lot of stand-up comedy – is that there’s a fine line between being funny and hitting hard, And it’s the latter that I (and you) have a problem with,
So, how to handle it? It depends on your feelings about the conflict. Many people like the “no politics at the dinner table” rule. Because it avoids awkward moments – but if that’s the case does Come up, then what? If it’s a bad joke that’s making a bad impression on women, say so or palestinian Or expats, I would simply respond: “Sorry, can you tell what’s so funny? I don’t get it.” This should force the person to really think about what they have said.
I strongly believe that we cannot leave hateful comments unchallenged. As the saying goes, “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing” (although no one is sure who started it – this is often wrong). Held responsible To the 18th-century Irish philosopher Edmund Burke).
if someone says something openly racist, Sexist, homophobic or transphobic, I believe it is our duty not to let it pass without comment. If we allow it to escalate, we risk thinking that it is acceptable – or that we agree with it.
Also, I always hope that when we express our viewpoint, the person can actually learn something. After all, if you have a family Consume right wing ideas online or from some broadcasters, then it is possible that they are not being exposed to a more liberal perspective.
If they are tossing out questionable facts asylum seekers And by repeating fake news, you will be there to tell them the truth. then get dressed. Suggest sites they might like to visit if they are interested in the topic of immigration. Try and remain calm (ignore any insulting attempts to get a “generous raise” out of you), Dismiss any inflammatory or exaggerated language around “numbers” and focus on the insults. Point out that use of profanity is inappropriate and offensive.
There are some other easy ways to keep things from getting out of hand and heating up: do not drink too much And remember that you have the right to walk away or take a sigh of relief when things get difficult. Know your limits: Choose a time when you want to leave after Christmas dinner, gifts, and games are over. Set boundaries and stick to them without guilt.
Importantly, note the fact that, as far as I’m concerned (although I’m well aware that many people People who like to troll and hide in the comment section To put it differently… don’t worry, we see you!), you’re on the right side of history. You can also change your family’s mind. And if it’s really painful, at least you only have to see them one full day out of the year. This too shall pass.
Do you have a concern you would like to raise anonymously with Dear Wicks? Issues related to love, relationships, family and work? Email dearvix@independent.co.uk