Is it sometimes difficult to find happiness? How to Embrace Happiness When You’re Stressed

TeaBelow is an excerpt from the article well enough Newspaper by Emily LaviniaTo get my latest thoughts well-beingMental health and the things that help us feel a little more human Enter your email address in the box above.

Each edition highlights a topic that was on my mind that week – from the science behind our emotions to the little one habits Which really makes life feel lighter. You’ll also get practical tips and tricks for living a happier and healthier life from the experts I’ve interviewed.

As we enter December, I’m feeling confused. It’s my favorite time of the year and I love it Pleasure Of festive season. But the world around me is a crazy and scary place. My washing machine is broken. I also just got a big vet bill and yesterday I accidentally spilled water on my bed. Everyone I talk to has the same experience. This time of year can be intense, so how do we embrace happiness When we feel angry, frustrated or sad?

This year I really leaned into the practice of gratitude and I honestly feel it has changed my life. Things feel more manageable, I’m able to experience a warm glow instead of feelings of jealousy or anxiety and I feel more at peace than ever. This week has tested me with the cancellation of trains and lack of sleep, but tools like meditation and gratitude have taken me out of the peak of stress.

A co-worker recently asked me: “How exactly do you practice gratitude?” This is a question I’ve explored a lot through my reporting, and I was able to share some ideas from both my own research and conversations with experts. Two of those experts – Dr. alex george And psychiatrist Anna Mathur – joins me for the season finale well enough podcastwe sat down to talk about science happinessThe pitfalls of toxic positivity, the role of gratitude, and how to create more happiness in everyday life.

During our conversation Anna provided some extraordinary insights. He talked about how often we can mistake a quick dopamine hit for real happiness, and how real happiness really comes in those moments when we are able to be authentic, move slowly, and be honest with ourselves. We also talked about covering up our true feelings with fake positivity, which can make it harder to recognize and access real happiness. Gratitude only works when we are not pretending.

“I think it gets really lonely behind the mask,” she told me. “You can really start to believe that you’re the only one who feels this way.”

“I have this privileged position as a therapist to see behind the scenes of so many people. When people talk about intrusive thoughts and they talk about the inner critic, I know I’m not alone. So when I talk openly about my intrusive thoughts and my own mental health journeyI know factually that I am not alone.

We discussed what this time of year can feel like overwhelming For many people, however, our default is to smile and be happy around others. We often behave ‘nicely’ because we fear the consequences of being ostracized or criticized if we do not live up to others’ expectations.

“Feeling like you have to hold everything together – and I’ve been the queen of this in the past – can sometimes lead to a breakdown. If you have the confidence to open up [you might wonder] What will life look like? Will everyone run away? You know, we were really afraid of that vulnerability.

During our conversation, Dr. Alex explained how reducing shame and stigma may be the key to understanding and managing our emotions more effectively. She’s written a new book for elementary-age kids to help them learn the science of happiness and learn resilience tools — but really, anyone can use her advice.

He told me: “It’s never too late to change and we can learn new habits and new ways of being at any age, we know this. I think, it’s easier to make these things happen when you’re younger. And the way I get my mind about it is that if you imagine a mountain that has been dumped with a huge amount of snow, the first people to climb the mountain have a slightly harder task because they have to push through the snow, but Everyone who follows that path becomes that. There will be some paths, but there will be paths that you will follow.”

One habit we talked about was expressing gratitude and reframing our thoughts and experiences. Anna told me she loved the power of the word ‘and’ – I loved the way she explained how something so simple can be so powerful. I will summarize:

I’m having a bad day and feeling anxious, okay. But what does it matter if I’m having a bad day’ and ‘I have to go home and wear comfortable clothes later’. And I get to eat my favorite food in my warm home. And I get to put on my show and pet my cats. Suddenly the word ‘and’ becomes very powerful.

The second phrase that Anna highlighted (and which I have relied on heavily for reference over the years) was “I get it”. Reframing the things we have to do every day as things to be grateful for can be extremely empowering.

Sometimes when I’m tired and not in the mood to work I think, “I get to do this work and work I’ve worked hard to get, and I get to help people with my writing. I don’t ‘need’ to write my newsletter and record my podcast, I do.”

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