I am a parenting expert. This is what your child is trying to tell you

New Guardian Often they find themselves struggling with their mysterious world babiesBut a new book aims to uncover the mystery of how children They communicate long before they speak their first words.

While verbal communication is absentInfants use a sophisticated range of non-verbal signals, ranging from different cries and different pointing body language And according to parenting author Tanith Carey, even stick out their tongues.

Carey has collaborated with clinical psychologist Dr. Angharad Rudkin What is my child thinking?A new publication designed to translate the latest research and neuroscience into practical insights for parents.

This book explores baby development up to the age of two, helping caregivers understand the messages from their little ones.

“At first, kids may feel like a mystery,” explains Carey. “They seem so helpless that most of the parents’ time and concern is spent on meeting their needs.”

Carey says that despite their inability to speak, babies are constantly communicating, adding: “We have never known much about how infants and young children think, experience the world and express themselves.

“With a little insight, it really is possible for your child to have subtitles – and when you understand what they’re trying to tell you, those early years become easier and even more enjoyable.”

Here, Carrie shares some ways parents can understand what’s going on in their child’s mind.

1) There are five types of screams of babies

It can be incredibly stressful for parents when their baby cries and they don’t understand why and, certainly at first, a newborn baby’s cry can seem like the same normal alarm call.

But Carey explains that babies usually cry for five main reasons – hunger, fatigue, over-stimulation, discomfort or pain, and boredom or frustration.

“If you listen, you can soon learn to discern differences and understand what your child is trying to tell you,” she says. “This means you’ll be able to identify problems and soothe them more quickly, making the first year that much easier.”

Carey explains that the screams of hunger are continuous and rhythmic, loud but quieter than other screams.

Tired crying looks and feels different, she says, explaining that when babies are tired, their bodies release the stress hormone cortisol and they have louder crying, jerky arm and leg movements, rubbing of eyes and clenched fists.

When they are overwhelmed, a baby’s crying can escalate from irritability to screaming. “At the same time, they will attack you to try to turn off the lights and noises,” she says.

When babies are in pain or distress, their screams become louder and more irregular, their breathing becomes faster and less frequent, and they may also arch their backs.

And if they’re bored or frustrated, babies will start fussing and kicking every once in a while to get your attention, Carey explains. If that doesn’t work, they will begin to cry softly, continuously, which usually stops immediately when you pay attention or pick them up.

2) Learn to read baby’s body language

Carey says it may seem like your newborn’s body movements are random, but they’re actually communicating with his body.

“Even very young babies bring their fingers to their mouth for comfort or hunger, or move their hands in front of their face to block out the light,” she explains.

“Along with listening to their screams, also look for signals in their bodies.”

She suggests parents try to look at the context of their baby’s body language — are they turning their head away from the light because they’re overstimulated?

When they’re lying down, do they turn their face to the side and open their mouth wide? Carey says if this happens, it’s inertia, and a sign that the baby is hungry.

And if they’re pulling their knees up to their stomach, it could be a sign of trapped air.

3) Listen to the different sounds they make

Carey explains that just as parents listen to their children, children also listen to themselves.

She says they can put in varying amounts of effort, perhaps by babbling in a toy bucket to hear their echo, or by testing raspberries and making clicking sounds with their tongue.

At around six months, they may also try to make a dry, cough-like sound to get your attention, perhaps sensing that you’ve looked around before.

“If they smile slightly when you look at them, that’s a sign that this was their way of communicating with you, there’s nothing to worry about,” she says.

4) Don’t ignore their tongue out

Carey says that while many newborn movements are reactive, sticking out one’s tongue appears to be one of a baby’s first intentional movements.

“If you stick out your tongue while watching your baby, you may notice that they try to gently stick their tongue out as well.

“Keep doing this and give them enough time to imitate you and you may see them doing it as early as a few weeks of age,” she says.

Parents shouldn’t pressure kids to do this, and should simply turn it into a gentle game, she says: “They’ll do it when they’re ready, and when they realize that they, like you, have a tongue that they can control.”

5) The kids are pointing for a reason

Carey explains that by about nine months of age, babies have the vision and fine motor skills to move their fingers individually, allowing them to point their index fingers at things they find interesting.

“This is an exciting milestone because it shows they can now share their curiosity with you,” she says. “It also shows that they’re starting to realize that when they’re interested in something, you might be too.”

She says babies usually point for two reasons: First, to draw your attention to something they want to know more about.

“It’s their way of saying ‘This looks interesting – what is it?’ explains Carey, who says this is known as ‘declarative signaling.’

The second type of signal means ‘I want that – can you get it for me?’, known as an imperative signal, she says.

“Learning to point to whatever they’re trying to see is a big jump for your baby,” she emphasizes. “Now that they can show you things they are interested in and ask you to name them, the number of words they understand often increases exponentially.

“So now seeing what your baby is pointing at and then naming it will cause a huge explosion in their vocabulary.'”

What is my child thinking? By Tanith Carey and Dr Angharad Rudkin, published by Penguin DK, price £18.99. Now available.