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wIt started with a hasty invitation Helen soon started drinking two bottles a day at the ‘Wine O’Clock’ after school and hiding her struggles Liquor From his family and friends.
Married with two children and With a successful career in project management and consulting, Helen, now 54, was in her 40s when she saw a change His drink From a friendly habit to a problematic habit.
She had a beautiful house, kids she loved, and more She says that middle-class existence hid what was happening behind closed doors.
“Everything looked beautiful on the outside, but inside I was lost,” she says.
“This whole ‘Wine O’Clock’ concept… it was introduced to me as a kind of dirty glass of wine after school or on a Friday. It became accepted, fun, and, you know, acceptable and very quickly became a normal part of life.”
But eventually, things began to change. She recalled, “I was very unhappy. I had lost myself. My identity was limited to just being a mother. And at the end of the day, that glass of wine became the only thing I looked forward to.”
As the pressures of home life, unresolved trauma from a chaotic childhood, and loneliness took hold, Helen said that alcohol “began to fill a void”.
“I did notice, but I didn’t think of it as a problem, that I was becoming more dependent on it over time. I remember getting through one bottle and thinking, OK, it’s gone quickly. So I remember going to the supermarket and picking up another bottle, a smaller bottle under the guise of [of] “I needed it for whatever I was cooking that night,” she says.
Helen’s story comes as the number of deaths from alcohol-related liver disease has increased by 76 per cent in women since 2003, compared with 53 per cent in men.
Unlike many stories depicted in TV shows or movies, Helen never woke up with a “crashing hangover” or feeling unable to deal with it, and it was several years before she realized how dependent she had become on alcohol.
Friends offered help, and he tried therapy, but the drinking continued, and it escalated when the pandemic hit.
As levels of problematic drinking rose across the country, Helen said, “My condition got really bad at that time because no one looked at anyone.”
“When I got to the point that I hit my lowest point, when I got to that point, I was just, I was desperate for help, I knew I needed help, and it was me who was asking for help. I remember telling my husband, I need to go to rehab, I can’t do this anymore… because that weekend I got to a point that I woke up thinking I was dying.”
And she wasn’t alone, with data showing that hospital admissions due to alcohol-related liver disease among women increased from 30,461 in 2019-20 (rate of 109.8 per 100,000) to 33,860 (118.6 per 100,000) in 2022-23.
In October 2022, Helen admitted herself to Priory Hospital Woking for rehabilitation treatment. Now sober, she says her and her family’s life has changed.
“There is so much shame, isolation, stigma and crime around AddictionYou think I feel so alone… and disconnected.
,[Recovery] Changed my family’s life. I have adapted to my role as a mother, [my sons are] Almost adult male. We have a really open relationship, I’m not hiding anything from her anymore… We have a really open, honest, very beautiful relationship.
Helen hopes that sharing her story will help people recognize addiction in themselves earlier than they did and not have to be ashamed of it.
According to the Priory Group, which is running a campaign called ‘Break the Chain’ which seeks to raise awareness of inter-generational addiction and encourage people to seek support before they reach crisis point.
The private provider said it had seen a 76 per cent increase in women seeking help from its alcohol rehabilitation service since 2019.
Pressure is mounting on the government to introduce minimum pricing for alcohol in England, with health experts urging the government to tackle “the scale of the current crisis”.
However, when the government published its 10-year plan for the NHS no measures were introduced.
Helen is urging the government to take action on this issue.
“It frustrates me how little acceptance there is for drug addiction. It causes so many problems in society. People growing up with addiction, people growing up with drug-addicted parents, and then getting addicted, it tears families apart… but it’s something the government doesn’t seem to be able to deal with.”