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It turns out love might benefit from a little less labor.
Behavioral scientist and professor Ashley Whillans says couples who spend money on time-saving services, such as ordering takeout, hiring a maid or a dog walker, report greater relationship satisfaction, especially during stressful times. Harvard Business School.
Willans studies “the trade-offs people make between time and money.”
“When you spend money to save time — hire an accountant, a nanny, a cleaner — you feel like you have more control over your life,” she says. “This sense of autonomy can increase happiness.”
Not everyone can afford to outsource larger household chores. But Willans said even a little can help. She recommends that couples conduct a “time audit”—examining how they spend their time and what small changes can make them regain even a few minutes.
“people Underestimating the importance of these choices,” she says. “It’s not about luxury, it’s about making time to connect. “
Whillans’ team tracked busy dual-income couples—partners who work full-time and often report feeling time-poor—and found consistent patterns. In a six-week diary study, couples who engaged in “time-saving shopping” on a given day were happier and more satisfied with their relationship.
Use the time you save to connect
However, simply outsourcing household chores is not a panacea to the problem.
“It’s about being intentional about using your time back — using it to spend quality time together and reconnect,” Willans said.
“Don’t think of this half hour as an opportunity to send more emails, but rather as an opportunity to spend some time with your partner.”
Targol Hasankhani, a marriage and family therapist in Chicago, stresses that while outsourcing domestic labor can relieve daily stress, it doesn’t replace communication. Juggling a career and children can take a toll on a family, and housework can often lead to resentment about who does the chores.
“If conflict around housework is rooted in deeper issues – like inequality or feeling like you’re not being listened to – hiring a cleaner won’t solve the problem,” she said.
Couples must dig deep and resolve issues on many levels.
“It opens up time and space, but couples still have to know how to show up for each other in that space,” Hassan Kani said.
Casey Mulligan Walsh, 71, former speech-language pathologist and author, Northern Territory New YorkSays the best thing about hiring a cleaner once a week is that it frees up time to spend with her husband.
“My favorite day of the week is coming home to a clean house,” she said. “We’ll go get coffee together instead of arguing about who should vacuum.”
A Valentine’s Day gift left behind
For some couples, it’s not easy to start delegating household chores, Willans said. In addition to the cost, “finding people and coordinating takes time — but the long-term rewards are real.”
Making decisions like this together deepens trust and a sense of teamwork.
For one Colorado couple, outsourcing started as an act of love.
“When I started dating, my now-husband noticed how hard I worked — at work, at home and as a single mom,” said Melissa Jones, 45, a teacher in Pueblo.
His Valentine’s Day gift? Deep cleaning.
“It’s awesome,” Jones said. “I carried on on my own for many years after that. When my husband and I moved in together, we decided to keep going.”
“We were able to make memories with each other, our kids and our families instead of spending our weekends mopping floors,” she said.
Dinner time can be a stress point
exist MiamiElizabeth Willard, 59, runs The Pickled Beet, a culinary service offering made-to-order meals.
“Most of the people I cook for are trying to invest in their health but don’t have the time,” she said, noting that families often juggle mixed dietary needs. “Sometimes the husband is a carnivore, the wife is a vegetarian, and one child has celiac disease. They are exhausted trying to keep everyone happy.”
Her clients, typically families with children and two working parents, “don’t fight over what to have for dinner. It’s not an everyday decision.”
Whether it’s ordering a pizza, paying a teenager to mow the lawn, or calling a ride-hailing service to save 20 minutes, the result is the same: buying time buys peace.