7 reasons to book an inside cabin on your next cruise

Booking an inside cabin on a cruise ship usually comes with an over-jolly disclaimer. Like, ‘We’re only there to sleep because there’s so much to do on board!’ Because if you were more cashed up, so the expectation goes, then you’d choose a fancy balcony suite. Right? I’ve stayed in both and can say that cabins boasting invigorating salty air are not all they’re cracked up to be. Give me an inside cabin any day.

But first, a tip. To get the full benefits, your neighbours must be like you. Cruising should not be a social housing experiment mingling inside-dwellers with across-the-hallway balconies. This means heading down into the guts of the ship. Not exactly below sea-level troglodyte living but close enough. There is joy to be found there.

Peaceful hallways

Cheaper inside cabins attract fellow passengers who usually can’t afford anything that’s not already included in the ticket price. That means no tipsy cruisers clomping down the hallway after holding up the bar all night. And there’s no one knocking on the cabin door opposite (so loudly, I swear they’re knocking on mine) to rouse a matching loud-shirt wearer for the late-late comedy show. Money can get you a room with a view but you cannot buy a peaceful hallway.

Soundproofed parties

The inside cabin-ers (typically young families or older couples) tuck up in bed early. It’s easy to join them, especially if you don’t know what you’re missing out on. Down in the bowels of the ship, I can’t hear the pool deck party wafting through the windows or the nightclub pounding through the ceiling. An inside cabin is guaranteed multi-layered sound insulation.

Sleep soundly

Holiday-makers seeking a good night’s rest should forego holistic health resorts for a bog-standard inside cabin. I have never slept so well. First, no noise (see above). Next, no light. An inside cabin with the lights off is like a cave tour when the guide flicks the switch and asks everyone to hold their hand in front of their face. Can’t see a thing. Sink back into an undisturbed sleep of the darkest night.

Other people’s conversations

Unfortunately cruise ship balconies don’t have signs on them like a train’s quiet carriage, warning people to shoosh. Any attempt to enjoy the serenity of my private balcony is interrupted. People are calling out to their mates who are three balconies across or they’re desperately getting phone reception off the coast. I prefer to be lulled by the hum of air conditioning in my genuinely private inside cabin.

No distractions

On every sailing it’s my goal to finish a book. But on a cabin balcony, I don’t flip a single page. The ocean is too distracting. Things like flying fish extravaganzas and leaping dolphin pods get in the way of holiday goals. Best to avoid them. Inevitably I need respite from an overstimulating entertainment program. The only place on board to offer this sensory deprivation is an inside cabin. It’s a sanctuary that removes auditory disturbances then goes an extra step to remove visual stimuli too. There’s nothing to see here folks, beyond four plain walls. Holiday goals, complete.

Incidental exercise

It’s my strict on-board mission to take the stairs and avoid the lifts. I see it as the necessary price to pay for eating three three-course meals every day. Staying low can mean traversing ten levels many times daily. I leave the ship fitter, not having lost weight, mind you, but not gained either, which on a multi-day sailing counts as a win. From an upper-level balcony cabin there are simply not enough stairs between me and the buffet. Elastic-waisted pants can only stretch so much before having to visit the ship’s gym. An inside cabin, on the other hand, avoids the curse of queuing for a treadmill.

Simple shore days

As much as cruise lines try to make it all about the ship, shore days hold their own appeal. Inside cabins, down low, are near the tender entry and exit points. After a big day snorkelling I just want to get back to my cabin. It would be tempting to queue for a lift. But being so close, I bypass the crowds to get from tender to cabin in the shake of a sandy leg. Inside and windowless, right back where I want to be.